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aLoY
Aloysius (Caius)
22 August
same as
LC

Loves: My Band-Leaven, whatever's left of LC, Being [Band Leader], My Ex, my kaki(s), slacking
Pissed At: bimbos, UnLeaven and the people who support it, NS, Myself (somtimes)

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Sunday, August 30, 2009

Life...is getting dull and lonely. I often find myself staring out the train windows with music to my ears in deep thought.
Wondering.
Dreaming.


This is not how I had imagined my life to be. What? Worrying about projects? Leadership roles? The fading friendships? Money?...memories? Heeell NO!


The latest assignment I'm doing is the most hectic so far. Me and my group of 3 others have to shoot a 5 min short film. Easy. Yeah that's what I thought at first too! Till the the day came when we finally started shooting. 8PM to freakin' 5.30AM the next day! Had to return all the equiptment by 9.45AM. Attended class at 2PM. Slept like a log till lunch the following day. With just a camera, mike and tripod, we had to capture as many nice shots as we possibly could for the editing stage. Nope. It's not over. On top of this, a got a stuck-up bitchy excuse of a teacher who keeps giving us assignments after assignments after assignments! Like WTH. I'm just gonna do the best I can and tahan till Fri. 2 nights cruise get away. SIGH! Maybe that's what I need. I short break from the WHOLE FREAKIN WORLD!!!


I want to be excited about X'Mas again. I want to feel the rising anticipation as X'Mas draws ever closer. I want to submerge myself in X'Mas tales. I want to But MOST of all I want to share my X'Mas dream with everyone! Everyone whom I call friend. It doesn't matter if you don't call me friend anymore. I whole-heartedly think everyone deserves to enjoy X'Mas. Esspecially this year! Sigh. But no matter what, I can't do it with the current I'm-too-busy-with-shit vibe I'm getting from the team I've strung up. I feel like I'm such a bad leader. I don't even know HOW THE HELL I got the post in the first place! I KNOW what I want, but I don't know how to get it. Totally frustrating.


As I often ponder about stuff everyday, I couldn't help but feel like I'm missing something. And THAT something is some how holding me back. I'm about to write something with ALL my thoughts poured into it.



As I stare at the innocent bliss infront of me everyday, I feel a little left out. Just a little. Left...forever wishing on a faraway star amidst the vastness of space. The memories that haunt etched deep within feelings. Where the gentle caress meets the heart. Meaning doesn't mean anything anymore. Smiles aren't happy. Cuddles are cold. Laughter seems monotonous. Music has no soul. I am left alone. Where the gentle caress meets the heart.
I love my guitar 11:59 pm♥