Saturday, February 14, 2009
What to do...what to do. I really don't know what to do with me, my life and my feelings. They're all jumbled up, confused at which direction to continue by. I'm sick of trying to live to survive for the future and taking orders from other people and worry about other people or get people into trouble with me.
When can I stop worrying all together?! Worry about how others think of me, worry I won't be able to survive next time, worry I'll end up like a coffee shop uncle, worry about how long I'll still be single and untainted by love from a girl whom I like and don't need to worry about if my friends or family would like her?!?! When can I start living life as it is and learn to not get so affected by the worries of Men? Who knows...maybe a few months, maybe a few years...then again, maybe never. I can't help but feel that God is testing me and I'm failing. Falling with clipped wings.
I'm turning 22 this year, but people say I don't "act" 22. I've to start acting my age! But I don't think it'll be who I wanna be. I wanna be fun, outgoing, spontaneous, smart, cool and I wanna be well to do. But things are so complicated that it's just a fool's dream.
I wanna live...
I love my guitar 12:54 am♥
