Monday, December 22, 2008
End of Here We Come A Caroling Episode 2! Here's my thoughts so far.
Day 1
Had a bad start cuz the red polo tee I bought ended up being a little too big for me in my slim jeans. Didn't think I look good. That's a very important thing to me. To look good. Cuz apparently my personality sucks. I'm only affected by this cuz I really think it's true. But anyway, had a little rough time during the warm up in Room 7. I just don't know why, but I'm just not remembering my parts like I used to. Old man don't-shift-the-fan-and-play-too-loudly just made it worst by showing up with the same old type of lecture as always. But the funny thing was...I saw abit of Christmas Spirit magic working. He was friendly-ish about it with smiles and soft thank yous which I think most of you guys probably don't remember. He'd usually just budge in and start lecturing us with as stern a face as he could manage..and his lectures would be long. It was moderately short this time. To some of you who are probably thinking it...NO...I don't do suck ups and I still don't like him.
Of all the 4 places we went to, I thought the house with just the couple and baby was our down point. NOT because of the turn out or our singing, but more cuz of what I so crudely and really embarrassingly said. "SO FEW PEOPLE?? WE SING FOR FUCK?!?!". I mean...what WAS I thinking saying something like that so loudly?? I hope the couple didn't hear that. I think everybody deserves to have a special and fufilled Christmas experience no matter how small or fucked up they may be. I was just being such a jerk and I really hate it. I could've ruined somebody's Christmas saying such comments and I felt so fucked up. My only consolation was that I didn't repeat my mistake at the rest of the places we went to.
But that wasn't all I felt fucked up about. I was given this in-charge-of-the-bus thing...but I feel that I've just let Dawn down by doing a bad job at it. I was the one who's suppose to guide the bus driver on the route to take...I think. I was just being...loud...and making a fool out of myself on the bus.
I'm just glad my friends had fun.
Day 2
Since I only got ONE red top (sigh...I got too fat for the other red striped tee), I decided to try it on with my baggy jeans instead. Didn't really help. So I fucked it and left my house. Met the rest below Tessa's block. Saw a NSman doing pull ups and made weird faces at him cuz he was doing pull-ups....worm style. Then I stopped, thinking how many I could do myself. Didn't even dare to try. Wimp.
Oh...and I blabbed out something stupid again. This time, at Tessa's house. As we went on our rounds wishing everybody "Merry Christmas", I just said out loud "I'M SICK OF THAT PHRASE!" after wishing the last guy. How more ambarrassing can I get?!?!?! It wasn't even funny. Dumbass. A real pain in the ass Dumbass. I also mentioned that 1/4 Malay thing out loud in the bus. I think the Malay bus driver took it in a bad way. Maybe that's why he took those long routes and wrong turns. For all his troubles, I didn't even get him a drink!
This Christmas Season really isn't working out for me. Sorry guys. And I'd like to apologise to Aaron for making fun of him and calling him Squidward and instead of working with him the Tenors' parts, I left him out. What a hopeless leader and lousy friend am I. And I'm sorry Andrew for making fun of your tallness and very low voice. But I'm most sorry to Nick for saying that fuck your mother thing...I was being too tactless. I apologise. I reflected on myself on the bus ride home. What is with me today? Am I like this all the time? Is this why my personality sucks?? Is this why girls don't like me? Sigh...
Best house was the 3rd house. Or as the guys call it, The OCS [Officer Cadet School] House (cuz we remembered the Officer Ceremonial Sword from last year). I thought we sang most clearly, blended-ly and confidently there.
Hope the rest of Christmas gets better. Why the hell am I in such a sour mood??
I love my guitar 1:58 am♥
